To nurture...

I once planted a rose bush, in a pot, which my daughter had gifted to me (she knows I have a weakness for yellow roses) and my husband (he is the one with ‘green fingers’) helped me in the potting. I dug up the earth in the pot while he carefully placed the tiny sapling in it, covered it with the mud till it was standing safe and erect and then we sprinkled some water on it and kept it away from the direct Sun so that it may find its bearings before being sent out to woo visitors in the garden.

Both of us would then take turns at tending to the tender creature, placing it in the shade when it tended to droop or watering it and adding fertilizer till it grew into a verdant robust foliage. Our pride and effort in nurturing it was equal and without slack. Even now, when it is a fully grown plant we still tend to it so that it continues to flower and be healthy.

But imagine a scenario when either one of us felt that “it is enough to know that I planted it and I will derive my happiness from the fact that it exists (for as long as it does), my job of creation is done and I have nothing more to contribute.”

Would the poor sapling then survive for long, for is it not natural that something which started as a joint effort of ours, if left to be the sole responsibility of one, would take its toll on the toil and joy of the other?

We have been told, by sages down the years, that nurturing a relationship is like tending to a plant in our garden and requires continuing effort in order that it may grow and flourish. And yet, is this not what most of us are doing wrong? We seek a relationship, form one or are gifted one and then somewhere along the way we stop nurturing it. It just is. And therein sets the decay…

Why can’t we see that truly meaningful and happy relationships around us are the ones where the effort continues unabated, in however small a measure, on an everyday basis. People who make them work ‘water’ the lifebreath of their relationship everyday and tending to it is a part of their way of living. It is easy to envy but are we willing to emulate…?

between the heart and mind...

I once took my little child to the seaside. It was an exhilirating experience to stand on the shores and watch the glee on her face as the waves rushed in and tickled her chubby legs with feathers of sand. It also gave me a memory which i recalled just now...
On seeing the continuing dance of the waves she asked me "Do they never rest? Why are they always in motion? Why do they do that, when they know they have no choice but to go back and merge with the ocean?"
Her innocent questions set me thinking. And i thought that at times the movement of the waves seems like a fight for freedom from the embrace of the ocean.They appear to strain to rise higher with a single minded purpose, only to be defeated and lie still in merger with the vastness of the seas. At other times it appears to be like a joyful dance, a celebration of the union, with the ever embracing waters which engulf them and keep them safe.
This brings to my mind the constant source of conflict of most human beings; the war between the heart and the mind. Haven't we all, in our daily lives, felt the need to resolve this conflict? the only difference in the nature of human beings lies in, which is the waves and which the ocean...
In my case, I know that the heart always rules and the mind may makes its attempts to rule or disobey, to break free of the 'bondages' of the heart but it always end s up as a joyous dance of surrender to the embrace of the heart, which is vast, deep and eternal...
But each one of us has to define this paradigm and only then will the conflict be resolved and peace be ours.

it was never yours...

Don Quixote tilted at windmills and traipsed along on his adventures. The world, as it existed in the fictional character's life, laughed and mocked at him. But his character is, by far, one of the most endearing, comic, misguided souls who comes to the mind of this dreamer. But what if this wandering lost soul was removed from the fictional milieu and placed in the realm of reality? He would surely lose his sense of bravado and go into hiding or wear the armour not just on his body but on his soul too..

It is a human instinct to crave for that which one does not possess, not so much maybe in material terms as in character traits. So if you happen to chance upon a soul unbound, a truly free spirit, you instinctively strive to be like that. This could be because, perhaps, this is the one trait which is most difficult to acquire/keep, being mired in the pseudo norms of relationships and bonds.

You may lack the courage to break free from the shackles that bind you but what's to stop you from attaining that elusive trait vicariously. And this is where the unguarded "on my own trip to nowhere" somebody is easy prey.

You latch on to such a person and convince her that in your heart you are as much a lover of freedom, a co-traveller in the seeker's journey and knowing the innate desire in every human being to seek a kindred soul, you feed that desire and lull her into letting her defences down (For isn't fierce freedom a veneer for an inner alone self..).

But if you do not have the strength of spirit or the courage of conviction to go the full mile, have you wondered what you do? You walk away unscathed, having invested but a fraction of your miopic self, back to the trappings which you will forever resent but be snared in nevertheless (which was your 'destiny' maybe) but you leave in your wake a confused, somewhat defeated, if not, embittered soul.

This is the moment of pathos in, an otherwise content life because such a person was never meant to experience these negative emotions. You have, in some measure, embroiled that person in the misfortune of your 'karma'. You have abraded, eroded a soul... And in retrospect there are two questions : a) Why

b) Are you liberated now?